The Media Critics

Gamers Vlog

Brandon — Wed, 27 May 2009 20:18:53 +0000

Oh… sweet… merciful… This is the first “vlog” from some gamer who obviously plays games too much he is way too busy to even cut his own hair. Overall this video is a pretty typical “gamer” video, with the whole “yes I’m better than you” thing, talking about how there’s “always that one guy” who is a chirper and talks too much on games. It’s not always, actually. I have played games where there weren’t any “chirpers”, and in other games I’ve player there have been more than one. What a highly incorrect assumption/exaggeration. Aside from that, I wish he would say/do slap his mom on cam and see what happens to him. I’m all in for “he cries when she smacks the hell out of him.”

Fake Geico Commercial

Brandon — Wed, 27 May 2009 20:13:01 +0000

It’s hard not to liken the kid in this video to an unborn fetus that absorbs its twin. They could get so much more accomplished in their lives if they had friends and chose to hang out with them. Having friends could help in a number of different ways: First, you wouldn’t have to talk to yourself. Second, you could get someone to hold the camera for you. Third, the more friends you have, the larger the pool of people there is to hopefully get someone who can get through a video editing program without just smashing their head on the keyboard to make it work. That being said, commercials themselves are rarely over a minute and even more rarely advertise other company brands (such as Monopoly from Parker Brothers). Sloppy, sloppy.

The Things They Do For Love

Brandon — Wed, 27 May 2009 19:59:55 +0000

This video is called “Jasper and Alice” and the audio is a song titled “The Things [They] Do for Love”, and it is in the pretty standard ’song while slideshowing a large amount of pictures’ format, so after the first two or three pictures you can guess where it is going. I do not know who Jasper and Alice are but this video is an apparent tribute to their [fake?] love. Other than that the girliest of girls might like the slideshow because, as stated before, it is picture after picture about love and stuff. Strangely enough, this doesn’t exactly target the large audience on the internet that is WoW and CoD players.

Baa Baa Black Sheep

Brandon — Wed, 27 May 2009 19:50:18 +0000

There aren’t many ways to take “Baa Baa Black Sheep” as racist, but for some reason there is something different about this version that makes it un-racist like other versions apparently do. Thinking about that while watching this video is the least of your worries, as you begin to wish that people had some sort of constructive hobby and that their parents would hide the video cameras from them so no one would have to suffer through what their children do. It’s just a kid singing the song in a high voice.

Windstruck

Brandon — Tue, 26 May 2009 20:00:34 +0000

This video shows different scenes from a (Korean?) movie called “Windstruck”, which is apparently the saddest movie ever. It is a ten minute long video, but not much is revealed about the movie at all, or even the audio. There is no audio from the movie itself (which I doubt would help much anyway, because from the looks of it, it is a Korean movie), but instead there is just a song playing over an incoherent array of scenes that are supposed to be sad? There’s not much to get from the video, so I guess you have to put in the years to learn Korean and then watch the movie.

Saving Private Ryan Music Video

Brandon — Wed, 20 May 2009 00:03:35 +0000

This video has a strange combination of audio and video. It combines Breaking Benjamin’s “Until the End” with footage from the movie Saving Private Ryan. The two don’t seem to combine well, and the editing of the video doesn’t seem to feed off of the audio at all - that is, when the chorus begins, there is no real change in the video at all. The only evidence of any foresight about the video and the audio is the very last scene, when the fading out of the video shows Tom Hanks in a haze, and the video itself fades out as well. Other than that, it is just an odd combination of audio and video tracks.

Project 7421BDay

Brandon — Tue, 19 May 2009 23:12:55 +0000

This is a video diary of someone who wants to do seven things before he turns 21. Most of the things are normal run-of-the-mill things that a loser would want to do, such as get in shape and eating healthier, types of things everyone wants to do. I am pretty sure that this is a joke/parody video, but you never know with a handsome young gent like this one. The last goal is to get a girlfriend and, sure it might be a parody, but from the looks of this guy, that last goal might be one he actually really will shoot for.

Porsche Turbo

Brandon — Tue, 19 May 2009 01:01:38 +0000

For a twelve second clip, this video certainly captures a large amount of moods and feelings just by looking at this one car. For starters, this is something that this person will never ever have, so that must be a pretty good feeling just looking at something you really really want. Longing is always nice, but in this instance it’s particularly funny knowing that someone who wants that car will, in all likelihood, never get it. Just keep looking.

Bowling Strike

Brandon — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:19:17 +0000

Even after you bowl a strike for the first time ever (I sure hope it’s the first time he’s ever bowled a strike, otherwise his reaction is just plain pathetic) you still have to act like you’ve been there before. I’m guessing the “reaction” to the strike was more to the fact that he didn’t do a normal roll before getting a strike rather than the actual strike itself, but it’s still not as impressive as he might think. Just tossing the ball isn’t much different from rolling it, as it didn’t really bounce or anything like that. Just a regular strike, nothing special.

Master Hand and Bowser Vs. Sonic and Mario

Brandon — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:13:14 +0000

This video pits Sonic the Hedgehog and Mario against Bowser and the Master Hand from the Super Smash Bros. Series. I can see Mario and Bowser, but I’m not quite sure what Sonic has against the Master Hand and vice versa. That problem aside the animations aren’t too good on this video, and it seems really sloppy at some points. The best part of the video is at the end, where it is revealed that Mario and Sonic do not actually win, which seems realistic to me (when you put a blue hedgehog and a plumber against a giant hand and dragon). In both hind and foresight, can anyone see that a hedgehog and untrained fighting plumber beat a drag and a giant fist?